Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
