I like my sex mixed with concussions.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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