i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
