I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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