i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
