I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
