I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
