who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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