I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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