for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize