K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
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I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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