D3 body, D1 cock
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
