One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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