Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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