Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
