can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This is my gift to your gina
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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