i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There r osticjed everywhere
What a dumb baby whore.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
They have beer where we have blood.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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