I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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