She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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