Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
