This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
