Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's blow job season.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
