If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
