I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
