I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
