Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you would pick up someone in the library
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
