And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
