Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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