I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
PANTIES FOUND
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