I accidentally had phone sex last night
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
