what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
