Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
