Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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