Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
