I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize