I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
