help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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