OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
