I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
