I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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