i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
3pm strippers are depressing
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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