we're blogging at a bar
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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