p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I want her autograph on my taint
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
