apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
