if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
