If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
