Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This house was built for laser tag.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
