hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
