She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
