She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
