people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I am available for nakedness
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
