So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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