a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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