Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
