I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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