PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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