Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
